How to feel Relaxed in a Restless Society

If there’s one thing we can all surely attest to, it’s that this world + all of its pressing matters can make life feel turbulent sometimes. And while we each have our own lives to cater to, it would be ignorant to pretend that society’s outside issues don’t often try to infiltrate our emotions.

That’s why today’s entry is dedicated to giving you some relaxing + resilient tools to keep mentally + emotionally secure on those days when society gets restless.

So without further ado, here’s how a Calm Queen stays relaxed in a restless society; and if you haven’t already, check out our #1 Google ranked post on how to become the ultimate Calm Woman.

Enter your Carefree Era

01 | Unsubscribe from the Status Quo

There are these invisible rules that over time we have subconsciously learned to follow. Like you can’t shine too brightly in the boardroom or else you’ll upstage others + be exiled. Or you can’t be a woman whose pretty, powerful, + has a POV, or else you’ll be single or unwanted.

Honestly, I’m sure we’ve heard worse but the truth is there’s a lot of added friction amongst humanity when status quos are used to keep people stagnant instead of to create space for people to grow + thrive.

So why do I bring this up? Because with the rise of social media, there are more status quos being written + more people feeling lost in dating, career, + life all together. So here’s a helpful rule of thumb that can bring forth some social relief.

Always ask “does this feel aligned with me, my best life, or my ultimate wellbeing?” If not, simply take it as a suggestion + remember you are the CEO of your life.

02 | Choose Presence over Escape

Our society can become so obsessed with forward motion that sometimes we forget to cherish the value of what’s right in front of our faces.

Instead of worrying about what to do or where to be next, remember that sometimes the only place you have to be, is in the here + now.

You don’t have to stop completely in your tracks, but just take a beat long enough to feel yourself breathing + hear your heart beat. Why? Because there are some people who aren’t fortunate enough to do either right now + that’s something we forget to savor.

In fact, take in your scenery right now. Is there something you see that you can be grateful for? Take it a step further + notice how many people around you are taking this specific thing for granted. Don’t judge, just notice + let it serve as a reminder that at the baseline of society there is a tendency to miss all the moments happening right in front of us. Society may say “go go go” but sometimes, it’s okay to resist + say “maybe today I’ll just take it slow.”

03 | Accept Support

To any independent self aware + probably selfless ladies reading this, you absolutely can relax with life more if you step out of your comfort zone + learn how to be the receiver instead of constantly being the giver.

This world expects alot from us if we let it, + sometimes even if we’re capable of it, we don’t want to carry everything on our own.

That’s why this year you may have to challenge yourself to start asking for help when you need it (and maybe sometimes ask more than once).

It’s not a crime to be in need. Everyone needs some one + everyone benefit from support. If you struggle to ask for help or you simply feel weird or unworthy of it, try thinking about it this way.

With as much good as you have put into this world, sometimes it comes back to you tenfold in the form of someone wanting to finally do some good for YOU. So maybe 1 way you can take something off your plate today is to simply ask for support. You’ll be shocked how many people (strangers, friends, faculty, or family) are actually willing.

04 | Don’t Absorb Other’s Energy

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for one person’s emotions or actions to affect another? And how a situation can go from settled to an uproar just because 2 people decided to feed off of each other’s reactions?

Whether in real life or social media, this kind of emotional transference happens all of the time. Even though we’re only human, as you mature you start to see how important it is to preserve your energy.

As the world’s social climate begins to change remember this quote: “observe but don’t absorb.”

You’ll live a more carefree existence when you realize that just because someone is sending their emotional load your way, it doesn’t mean you need to take it on. Those feelings already have a home + that home resides within the other person. In addition, there will be some people who will try to make you feel like a bad person for not carrying something that never belonged to you. In those instances simply remind yourself that you can assist someone without absorbing the emotional impact. This is how you preserve your energy + keep it potent + precious.

05 | Survival Skills > Survival Mode

I used to think not living in survival mode was optional, until I learned that according to biology + nervous system psychology that humans are not designed to live in prolonged survival mode.

It took me years to realize that the survival skills I learned like hyperawareness of potential threats, constant anxious thinking, putting myself last on the list of things to take care of, + much more, were supposed to be used only in settings with real dangers, not perceived dangers.

As someone who has healed through a decade of anxious living, I noticed that I was only focused on surviving the day, trying not to drown in stress, + it caused me to never live the life I was actually trying to build.

I don’t share this to condemn you or criticize you, just to give you a gentle reminder that yes our survival skills can make us feel strong short term (long enough to survive the day), but the stress of that state will never allow our mind + bodies to truly relax or function healthily enough to enjoy the life we spend time cultivating.

So this is your loving reminder to cherish your survival skills + use them when necessary but, in the meantime there’s a life you get to live outside of the moments you spend protecting it. It takes some practice + honestly some trust in yourself + your life to make this become a habit, but once you do it’ll become like second nature + you’ll look up + notice you’re no longer feeling ALERT, instead you’re feeling ALIVE.

The good thing about today is that you won’t have to figure out where to start, on your own. The Serene Queen Guide was created to help you start living + feeling deeply carefree in the midst of a chaotic overstimulating society. And the best part of it all is that you won’t have to drop yourself or the life you’re building to do it. Carefree living doesn’t take security away from your life, it just ensures that the need for security doesn’t end up taking away from your life. And as a Calm Queen, you’ll be able to master this balance.

- This is your CAREFREE Year -

If you don’t remember anything else said here today, just remember that a calm life is measured in presence, pacing, + progress… not perfection.

You don’t have to figure out an entire life in a day, simply use your presence to bring life to each day. And know that doing it at your own pace is more than okay.

If you’re ready to step out into the calm, confident, + more carefree life you’ve been desiring today, the SERENE QUEEN wellness guide is your start to becoming the woman who is at peace even when the rest of the world prefers to panic.

Cheers to you on your calm + carefree journey!